A day on the farm

The scene is a small family farm in Brown county, Ohio. Dinner has just been served and grace has been said.

Dad: So, how was everyone's day today?

Mom: Well, it seems Daniel Jr. has something he needs to tell you.

Danny Jr.: Mom, geesh, do we have to talk about it now.

Mom: Since we spent all day in downtown Cincinnati at the FBI office, I think your father needs to be brought up to-date on events.

Dad: This sounds serious. What happened?

Both stare at Danny Jr.

Danny Jr.: Well, I eh, guess they traced my skype conversations with Jebediah.

Dad: What is a Skarp convention?

Danny Jr.: Skype, father. It is a video conferencing software tool to speak to people using a protocol known as...

Mom: What is a protocol?

Danny Jr.: It is a telephone with pictures so you can see each other when you talk.

Dad: We are Amish, how would we know about this Skarp you speak of?

Danny Jr: It's pronounce Skype, father.

Mom: Do not disrespect your father, Daniel Jr..

Danny Jr hangs head down.

Danny Jr.: I am sorry. I did not mean to bring trouble to the family.

Dad: I still do not understand why the federals would want to know about your talks with Jebediah? I realize you are probably talking about something sinful, like some girl's new headscarf or the latest buggy being produced by our Pennslyvania kinfolk, but this is hardly something that would attract the attention of outsiders.

Danny Jr: I am unsure father. They kept asking me why two Amish kids were on the internet so much.

Mom: This internet, is it a type of drug? Daniel Jr, are you smoking crock?

Danny Jr: No mother, and it's crack, not crock.

Dad: So these FBI men, did they arrest you for smoking crock on Skarp?

Danny Jr. : No, father, but they did put us on the international terror watch list.

Dad and Mom stare at each other. Dad stands up and looks indignant.

Dad: I will not allow that to happen. Ezekiel told me he once viewed a feature film by that Stephen King fellow and it was one of the worst experiences of his life. I will not allow this family to be torn apart by being forced to view this type of  Englander corruption!

Danny Jr. shakes his head and stares out the window, dreaming of living with a normal family.