A real charlie foxtrot, Ja? Oui!!!

Dear Congressman,

Occasionally one will here about Académie française, or the French Academy, which since 1635 has defended the French language from being littered with words and phrases from other less worthy tongues. It does this by publishing a dictionary outlining acceptable words to use while smoking Gauloises and sipping a demitasse of expresso.

This body consists of 40 members who rule over the French language in an exclusive club that you join for life, unless you are Phillipe Petain and create a government (Vichy) during world war II that collaborates with Nazi Germany, and then you are politely asked to resign. By controlling this dictionary, the body 'guides' the use of the French language.

Germany has a standard dictionary as well, Duden, but no panel of aristocracy convening to decide which words from barbarian languages are to be incorporated into it.

And they might need to start one, as Germany is well known for their discipline and attention to detail, I think you would agree that this one got away. 

It appears that Chancellor Angela Merkel had the honor of introducing a new word into the Teutonic vocabulary, as her use of this term made it acceptable lingo, and foreshadowed it's entry into the Duden dictionary.  In fact, German language experts voted it "Anglicism of the year" in 2012.

It appears during the Eurozone economic crisis, the German people found a word to best describe the anxiety and fear that came along with failing banks and pissed off Greeks.

So welcome to the German language, "Shitstorm".

Well played Deutschland, well played...

Because companies are people too...

July 2, 2013

Dear Mr. Snowden,

This correspondence is to acknowledge the receipt of your letter dated June 29, 2013 requesting asylum from the United States of America from prosecution for the charge of espionage.

We thank you for think highly enough of us to make this request, however, after careful consideration, we must decline at this time.

Whereas we are not “beholden to the USA” as you noted in your letter, we do have considerable business interest within the borders of that particular country and these could be jeopardized without the promise of additional revenue streams from other sources if we grant your request.

Another issue is that, as a Fortune 500 company, we technically do not have a legal recognized right to grant asylum to individual citizens of other nations. We do agree with your argument that, for all intrinsic purposes, we are a sovereign nation unto ourselves. However, from a practical standpoint our corporate headquarters in Georgetown, Grand Cayman, is a post office box. and to be frank, whereas it is large enough to hold an individual person, it is not equipped with the amenities necessary to house and feed political refugees such as yourself.

If in the future you have issues with the United States of America in the area of taxes or commercial law, we can make a recommendation for several effective lobbyists in the Washington D.C. area who have served us well over the last decade.

If there are any other matters to which we can be of assistance, please do not hesitate to contact us. Good luck in your continuing endeavors for a new home.

Sincerely,

Gerald Hoffman

Legal Affairs Spokesman

International Business Machines Corporation