Social Networks I'd like to see...

Dear Congressman,

Since everyone and their grandmother is on the internet 24/7, I thought I would take the time to outline some sites I would like to see out there, to reflect the true nature of the human condition...

Back Book- yes finally a site for all the back biters out there. Instead of “friends” you would have “frienemies” and, of course, the like button is replaced by the “you’ve got to be kidding”, “gag me with a spoon”, and the “Jane, you ignorant slut!” buttons. However, unlike other social media sites, when you make degrading comments and the whole world can see it was you, this site has a scramble feature, that will attribute your scathing tirade to an unsuspecting member of your frienemy list. Fun galore as you slag everyone and everything to your heart’s content, while your frienemy list wonders who the culprit is.

My Grace – if Budweiser and cheeseburgers have taken their toll on you over the years, then this site is for you! Once you upload recent pictures of your bloated self, the programmers at My Grace have developed morphing software that could have turn Pavarrati into Rambo. Receding or missing hairline? No problem! This site can give you more hair than a 1971 rock concert.

Kinkedin –Do you have gigantic business or political ambitions and an oversized libido to match? Look no further than this network. As privately endorsed by Anthony Weiner, Chris Lee and Elliot Spitzer, Kinkedin is a secure anonymous business social network that “gets on with the business”. All young beautiful women are welcomed into the group with open arms, and in some cases legs, after they have signed the ironclad confidentiality agreement that forfeits all their rights and dignity to horn-dog middle-aged white men from upstate New York.

New York, New York

Dear Congressman,

Normally I am trying to keep you up to date on the doings around the country and the world as you sacrifice your life and limb fighting the many liberals on Capitol Hill, but today's topic is about ... well... your peers, specifically New York congressmen...

First came Chris Lee, the former congressman representing New York's 26th district. Mr. Lee thought it would be okay to claim to be both unmarried and a lobbyist on Craigslist to gain the affections of other women. He is famed for running into a bathroom aka-superman phone-booth style - tearing off his shirt and snapping a pic to send to the other party in question. Too bad he used his real name, as he was found out pretty quickly and resigned the next day.

Now comes Anthony Weiner, the House of Representatives member representing the 9th district of New York. Mr. Weiner also likes to take pictures without his shirt on and send them to women who befriended him on either twitter or facebook. Additionally, Mr. Weiner discussed his weener with a female blackjack dealer as recreated by Bill Maher and Jane Lynch here. (note: explicit language, funny, but explicit). Anthony so far has refused to resign from the House, but one has to think he will probably not far behind Mr. Lee is packing up his desk early.

So I have to ask, is there something in the water of New York State that creates egomaniac narcissistic power brokers with a boner and no common sense? Does the oath of office for representatives for the State of New York include the pledge to "provide utmost customer service while taking time to service the customer".

As for another idea for attacking the deficit, I would sell memberships to the House gym using both these guys as poster children, as it must have some pretty functional equipment as you could bounce a quarter off either of their abs.

Washboard abs for some and lower taxes for all!!!!!