A shot, bartender?

Dear Congressman,

Since you are locked away in the halls of Congress doing your national duty for the Cincinnati area, I am sure you barely have time to keep up on the doings of the Ohio Legislature. So, as a public service, I thought I might fill you in on what they have been up to:

Ohio senate to hear bill allowing guns in bars
An Ohio Senate committee passed a bill that would allow Ohioans to carry concealed weapons into bars and restaurants -- provided they don't drink, the Columbus Dispatch reported. The Senate is expected to act quickly on the legislation, voting as early as today, according to Senate Judiciary Chairman Timothy Grendell, R-Chesterland. Before the committee voted 7-2 to approve Senate Bill 17, opponents warned legislators that the proposal to loosen Ohio's gun law would lead to more violence, and they questioned how waiters and bartenders would be able to enforce the drinking ban. "Alcohol and guns do not mix," John Gilchrist of the Ohio Association of Chiefs of Police testified.

Between you, me, and the wall, I think I would tend to fall into Mr. Gilchrist's camp on this one. Is it possible that this bill being sponsored by the Coke/Pepsi/Dr Pepper lobby who are looking for more sales in Ohio water holes? Correct me if I am wrong, but the most common thing people do when first walking into a bar is to order an alcoholic beverage. Haven't spent many nights on the town where I remember a lot of people ordering Shirley Temples at the bar.

I do, however, remember reading this blurb from the Department of Justice website:

About 3 million violent crimes occur each year in which victims perceive the offender to have been drinking at the time of the offense. Among those victims who provided information about the offender's use of alcohol, about 35 percent of the victimizations involved an offender who had been drinking. About two-thirds of the alcohol-involved crimes were characterized as simple assaults.

About 35% of 3 million is about a million violent crimes involving alcohol, of which two thirds were simple assaults. Simple assault is a nice way of saying that the offending party did not have a lethal weapon on hand to utilize to upgrade the assault to the felonious type that results in grievous bodily harm.

So here's a thought, lets legally allow them to enter an establishment that serves mentally impairing beverages carrying a concealed weapon, interact with other slightly impaired patrons, wait a few hours, and see what fun results from this.

Additionally, why the hell is this even being presented for a vote in front of the Ohio Senate? Is a job creating bill, as the jobs formerly held by bar patrons suffering from acute lead poisoning will be up for grabs? Or a health care bill, as people who enjoyed copious amounts of alcohol on a daily basis will not need late-life care for cirrhosis or other alcohol related diseases as they would have already succumb to bullet wounds?

I would think at a time like this when the state coffers are empty that it would be a bad idea to eliminate eligible payers from the tax rolls.

All over Ohio I can see the following scene unfolding:

A guy walks into a bar. He looks around, then approaches the bar to address the man behind the counter cleaning wine glasses.

"What'll it be, Mister"

"I'll have a diet coke, please."

Bartender suddenly ducks behind the counter and yells "Please don't shoot! Take the money in the till if you want! Just don't kill me!!!!"


Or not...